For most of my life, the phrase “healthy medium” wasn’t in my vocabulary. After being exposed to cognitive-behavioral therapy I realized that my perfectionism is attributed to unhealthy thinking patterns that used to seem inherent to me. The most pertinent unhealthy, or unhelpful, thinking pattern that enables my “extreme” tendencies and my perfectionism is all-or-nothing thinking. All-or-nothing thinking is a cognitive distortion that shapes how we see the world; it oversimplifies the world in a negative way. In my case, my view of the world has been so skewed and negative that I developed an obsessive fear of failure, which influenced my perfectionistic behaviors.Read More
I just got done watching this new show on Hulu called Shrill. There are a lot of good, yet questionable things about the show I could talk about, but this essay is about relationships. Specifically, how it’s no wonder to me, and everyone I know, end up in toxic relationships. What I’ve noticed is every toxic behavior, mindset, or societal expectation that exists, we can learn from the media surrounding us. You know why? Because toxicity is exciting and it’s capitalized on. I have failed tremendously in relationships because of it.Read More
Over the years I’ve made a list of things I can't or shouldn’t wear. My size 22 body has been governed by rules that I didn’t make for it, based on beauty standards that I didn’t choose. Beth’s body was living under similar regulations. She’s plus sized too, and she had a list of “cant’s” that she decided to break one day when she posted a photo of her in a bra and cutoff shorts to Instagram that received a ton of support. Shortly after that, she started modeling and has since been in international campaigns. This whole experience started her down a path, and she began questioning why we keep rules like these in the first place.Read More
Living sustainably isn’t something that’s innate. It’s something we need to learn and be conscious of, especially in a society that is so material focused and so focused on our deficiencies to sell of us stuff and experiences that may not be in our (or our society’s) best interest.Read More
These past four weeks have undoubtedly been some of my hardest. My life has quite spectacularly been turned upside down with the separation from my husband, so I’ve been exploring how to mindfully uncouple from someone who has been in my life for almost a decade, while also juggling the demands of real life. It’s been a whirlwind of coordinating logistics, maintaining a full client load, and trying to find time to take care of myself so that I may work through these very intense emotions.
OK. I’m about to say an unpopular word. ANGER. Yes, anger. You have it. You know you do. It confuses you and makes you feel ashamed sometimes. You’ll see therapists and tell them, “I’m here because of anger that I don’t know what to do with.” But here’s the thing.. It’s a righteous anger, and it’s an anger that will allow you to know yourself. For you to gauge when and where you need to check in and notice an injustice. An imbalance. Anger isn’t a look that people will celebrate -- especially on a ‘lady’ -- but it is a GIFT. A tool. Lady Justice is a celebrated deity because she got it. Gets it, even. Let that anger be the fire in your belly that awakens you to what is without equality, and bring the Balance.Read More
TMI? Maybe, but I wanted to share a little bit of my background because I think it’s made me strong and forced me to leave my comfort zone early on. We tend to block out any trauma from our past, but I try to look back to see how much I’ve changed or stayed the same and how much I’ve learned.Read More
At 16 years old, I discovered the term, “general anxiety disorder” or, a “...persistent and excessive worry about a number of different things. People with GAD… find it difficult to control their worry. They may worry more than seems warranted about actual events or may expect the worst even when there is no apparent reason for concern” (Anxiety and Depression Association of America). Upon reading this, I sighed with relief. My body relaxed for the first time in years. I took a deep breath. This discovery was validation in something I have felt for as long as I could remember, but never had any words to describe it. That validation made me feel like I wasn’t alone, that there were others who felt what I felt.Read More
5. If you could give your younger self a piece of advice, what would it be?
It really is going to happen. Your kiddo spidey sense is spot on. Relax. Enjoy the ride.Read More
Every year as time inches towards November, I pull out my sweaters, search for new soup recipes, and the dread sets in. My winter self is coming. Technically, it’s my fall/winter self but that’s a mouthful. This is the part of me that shows up every year, without fail, right as the days get shorter. I don’t remember when I started noticing it happening, but I do remember not appreciating it.Read More
It’s easy to look at this tax season and feel like a failure. If you’re the kind of person who has everything figured out financially, I am honestly so proud of you I could cry. You deserve a Beyonce world tour sized crown for your achievements honestly. We all think so. But this piece may not be for you. If you’re like the rest of us, your skill level with handling money falls somewhere short of having it all figured out. This often means that tax season can leave you feeling like a complete and total failure. It’s certainly left me feeling that way before. So if you find yourself trying to sort out what to do next, then I thought I might help.Read More
In your personal life and career, you will encounter red flags. They can be tempting to ignore but your gut knows. Clients may try to look past your true talents and put you into a general box, wanting you to fit their idea of what you should deliver and you may have an internal battle over "money vs. creative integrity". It's okay to occasionally fit the mold in order to pay the bills if it's your choice and within your ability but beware of continuing on this path without course correcting. In the creative industry specifically, it's easy to get painted in a corner and it's hard to bust out of it.Read More
It was a typical Saturday afternoon in my world. I slapped on a pair of OV leggings and my favorite Selena sweatshirt and headed straight to the Home Depot for some lumber and trim I needed for a new project. What transpired next is something that any female-presenting person who has ever walked into a hardware store has likely experienced.
“Aren’t you cold in just that sweatshirt?” he cawed.
“I’m just fine. Thanks.” I snapped through gritted teeth.
“Well if you get cold, just come find me. I’ll keep you warm.”Read More
I almost didn’t write this article. I was tempted to text Chelsea and let her know that I couldn’t do it. And then I remembered the reason why we have this space in the first place—to share these vulnerable moments so that we all can feel a little less alone, so that we can see our common humanity, so that we can peel back the layers from what our biases allow us to see and really explore the complexity and nuance of each individual, so that we can shine a light on our own experience and hope it helps at least one other.Read More
Every day since my crash I have asked myself how I am making the most of what I am given. There are days that I am able to answer with pride and others where I feel so small, I can’t look in the mirror. I am still overcoming the shame from that summer, but I refuse to let it keep me from living.Read More
We’re dedicating this post to giving you an easy guide to how to get involved and how to help! We’re excited to announce our spring open call for submissions + contributors! Do you have a story about success/failure/the in-betweens that you’d like for us to publish? We’d love to see it!Read More
I’ve always found it funny how much we as humans immensely crave change, yet when we sense it coming or are in the thick of it, all we want is familiar stillness. For as long as I can remember, I’ve continually travelled down the curvy road instead of taking the most direct route. Many of us grow up being told by our parents that we can do anything we want in the world, and we grow up to forget this truth as we fall into monotonous adult routines. Nearly everyday I have to remind myself, “Katie, if you don’t dare to take a chance (move to Austin, get a one bedroom apartment, try this recipe, etc) then you will never grow, never experience true failure, never succeed, and you’ll stop learning about yourself and the possibilities of “what you want to be when you grow up.”Read More
3) When was the first time you remember feeling like you were successful?
Successfully getting a job outside of Florida and having the audacity to move to Texas was a massive turning point for me. I’d lived in Florida for 23 years, but I wanted to challenge myself and make a complete change. (Related: I also cut off all my hair just before moving.) It was scary, but I was thrilled at the prospect of doing something new, becoming someone new. The ability to learn, change, and grow is what I consider success. For me, it’s definitely not a singular destination but an ongoing process that can take so many shapes. And that means there are countless more exciting ways to succeed.